Saturday, December 7, 2013

Got Joy?

I need my therapy!  Every time I walk into my garage and see "my toy" sitting there, I get this overwhelming urge to jump in and go for a ride!  In fact, I get down right giddy at the thought of it! Yes, this girlie girl loves to get out in nature and enjoy the dirt and mud!

There is nothing like being out in nature...observing, pondering, enjoying...even at times driving like a bat out of you know where! This has Radiator Springs Racers at Disneyland beat hands down! 

At times, after Paul died I wondered if I would ever feel true joy again.  I can honestly say, I feel a bit of that pure joy when I am out on my UTV.  I feel him close by.  I feel his happiness that I am happy.  Seriously, who needs to pay for a therapist? I will just jump on “my toy” and go for a ride!

It is a good thing that I have discovered other things that can bring me joy, especially since it is now winter and I can’t head to the mountains. As I have discovered, my UTV, is not the only thing that brings me joy. 

Service to others brings me joy.  I can remember as young girl always being told if you serve others, you will feel better.  Guess what?  It really does work!

Expressing gratitude brings me joy.  I know it sounds strange. But it really does work.  Give it a try!

Spending time with my children brings me joy.  When I take the time to just sit and listen to them.  Watch them.  Hold them.  Laugh with them. 

These are things that bring us joy that does not cost money.  They are things that if we choose to do, we will actually get back more than we give.

Do I miss Paul?  Every day!  Some days are harder than others.  Some days I just have a hard time breathing because I miss him so much…but I must keep going. 

During this holiday season I am feeling the sadness that comes when someone you love so deeply is gone.  The dark, overcast, cold days do not help.  I look for every bit of bright that I can find.  Often times, that bright is found through other people. It is through serving each other. It is love. It is kindness.

So, everyday as I longingly look at “my toy” and wish I could just jump in and go, I get crazy thoughts about buying a big sled to haul behind it…pull the kids around…not on my road because it is too small…over to the church parking lot across the street…no mail boxes to this crazy…one of those “you’ll shoot your eye out” kind of moments?

This is my therapy, what is yours?  What brings you joy?