Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Who doesn’t love a good party?

This morning started out as “one of those mornings”…missing my husband…listening to sad music…then feeling sorry for myself.  Yes, I successfully created a pity party.  Who doesn’t love a good pity party now and then?

I was thinking about the singleness I feel.  How at times you can be in a room full of people, yet, feel so alone.  Missing my best friend.  Missing my greatest supporter.  Just plain missing…everything about him.

So grateful for friends you can call to join your pity party and cry until the “sup sups” start…then you feel oh so much better.  Yes, there is therapy in crying…lots of good, wet, salty tears!

Then, I decided…enough with the pity party.  Time to move forward!  Just so you know, the pity party will come back again someday…but fortunately it doesn’t come around very often!  It is all just a part of the process…and it’s ok.

So, how did I get myself out of my funk? 

Last night, my youngest daughter had just finished showering.  She had a great time, sitting on the shower floor playing with the designated tub/shower toys.  She loves to play with them, but hates to clean them up.

So, after she is done showering, my other daughter goes in to take her shower and starts to throw a huge fit.  She comes running out of the bathroom screaming at her sister to get in there and pick up the toys.  A screaming match starts.  Great. 

Being the amazing mom that I am, I decided it is not fair for my youngest daughter to always leave the toys laying in the shower, especially since no one else has a desire to play with them, and they can really hurt if you step on them!   I tell her to pick them up and she says no.  Really? Did you just tell me no?

Now the battle of the wills begins.  In all honesty, my children are more strong-willed than I am…but I just knew I had to stand my ground.  I informed my daughter if she did not pick them up, I was going to take them out to the garbage in the morning and she would not ever get to play with them again.  She said, “I don’t care.  I am not going to pick them up. I don’t really want to play with them anymore anyway.” 

I gave her every chance to go in and pick up those toys…but she flat out refused.  So, I told her that they WOULD be thrown away.  My other daughter interjects, “Well maybe mom you better not actually throw them away because she might want to play with them again someday, and you know how whiny she can be when she doesn’t get want she wants.”  After she said that, I realized, all the more reason to throw them away!!!
So, she didn’t pick them up.  So guess what I did today? Yep.  I did it!

Hey, sometimes it’s the little things that make us feel happy and amused!
I am actually glad she didn’t want to pick them up.  Now, I don’t have anymore bathroom toys…just one less thing to worry about!

Recently, I took this picture of my daughter and her efforts, or lack thereof, to clean her bedroom.

Yep, kind of tired of their messy bedroom.  I can remember my parents always getting on us to clean our bedrooms.  One day my dad warned my sister and I, that if we did not get our room cleaned up by that evening, something drastic was going to happen.  We didn’t get it cleaned.  I guess we didn’t believe him.

The next day we come home from school.  I will never forget walking into our bedroom.  It was messy before…but I was in total shock at how bad it looked now.  It literally looked like a tornado had hit it.  There was stuff everywhere…not only did he dump out all of drawers, empty the entire closet, take everything off the shelves, he dumped other things in there as well.  Honestly, I just remember that we had to climb over mountains of things to get in there.  It took my sister and I along time to get that mess cleaned up.  After that, we took my dad seriously.  If he said get your room cleaned, we couldn’t move fast enough!

Since my girls still have not cleaned their bedroom…do I do it?  Hah! The thought of it makes me laugh, but the reality of it makes me think it is not a wise choice at the moment!  So, I guess not today… Who knows maybe throwing out the toys will have some sort of impact?  I can only hope.

In the mean time I feel empowered.  I am doing what I can to raise my children on my own. As a single widowed parent you feel a huge amount of responsibility in raising your children.  You are both mom and dad.  You are it…

So, my therapy for today was throwing away some toys.  Who knew that could be so therapeutic.  My message in this post is simple, sometimes it really is the small things that bring us joy. It is about perspective.  It is about attitude.  It is about choice.

Now I can’t wait for them to come home from school and see the empty bucket sitting there!  Here’s to empowerment!  Here me roar!