Monday, February 25, 2013

Fought a good fight...

My sweet husband Paul passed away at about 3:45 a.m. today. Every day I try to find things to be grateful for.  Today I am grateful that he is out of pain and is very happy.  His spirit is free from a very tired and sick body. Fortunately, his trial is over…I wish I could say that mine was over, but I know that I am just beginning in to a new phase…

Even though, I am glad that he is no longer suffering, my heart feels as if it is breaking into a million pieces.  I feel very lost and lonely inside.  I already miss him desperately and it hasn’t even been 24 hours…the tears have been flowing very freely tonight.  I keep looking over at where he was laying just last night…oh, how I would love to see him…hear him…feel him.  I honestly hope that I am strong enough to do this…this is the hardest thing I have ever been faced with…I can hardly believe that I am a widow.

I am too tired to share much tonight.  I hope I have the energy to write more tomorrow about the things we experienced the last two weeks of Paul’s life.

For now, I just need to say…Cancer sucks!


  1. Sandra, I have thought of you constantly over the past few months, but especially the past couple of weeks. I could fill pages with thoughts and feelings, but I just want you to know my heart wrenches with yours, my prayers ascend in behalf of you and many will hold your hand if not physically, then definitely in spirit, as you walk this path. You, dear Sandra, are not alone. And you are so loved.

  2. Sandra, We are so sorry! Uncle Paul was an AMAZING man, father, husband, friend, uncle, son, brother and will truly be missed by many people. Please remember that you are not alone, your Heavenly Father in always there for you and will carry you through this extremly difficult trial. Sending our love and prayers your way!

  3. Cancer does suck. I love you Aunt Sandra. You can do this. One moment at a time. We're all here to help you through.

  4. Oh Sandra, I am just now reading this post. My heart aches for you and your family. Words seem so inadequate right now. I only hope you are feeling some peace from The Comforter in the coming days. You are still in my thoughts and prayers.