My sweet husband Paul passed away at about 3:45 a.m. today. Every day I try to find things to be grateful for. Today I am grateful that he is out of pain and is very happy. His spirit is free from a very tired and sick body. Fortunately, his trial is over…I wish I could say that mine was over, but I know that I am just beginning in to a new phase…
Even though, I am glad that he is no longer suffering, my heart feels as if it is breaking into a million pieces. I feel very lost and lonely inside. I already miss him desperately and it hasn’t even been 24 hours…the tears have been flowing very freely tonight. I keep looking over at where he was laying just last night…oh, how I would love to see him…hear him…feel him. I honestly hope that I am strong enough to do this…this is the hardest thing I have ever been faced with…I can hardly believe that I am a widow.
I am too tired to share much tonight. I hope I have the energy to write more tomorrow about the things we experienced the last two weeks of Paul’s life.
For now, I just need to say…Cancer sucks!